Remembering My Former Boss, Prof. Dr. Tan Toh Wah

Two days ago, on April 15, 2015, Kevin and I received the saddest news on the passing of our former boss, Prof. Dr. Tan Toh Wah. 

Earlier this evening, we went to pay our respects by attending his wake at his residence in Island Glades. 

As we walked into his home, and seeing him lying in his coffin and then seeing his wife was a truly emotional moment for me. I did not expect to ball my eyes out in tears as I hugged her tightly and told her how truly sorry I was for her loss and what a good man her husband was. I didn't think she expected me to be overly emotional, as she was quite calm and collected. I, on the other hand, was a crying wreck as all the memories of him flooded my head. 

It was nice of her to allow me time to calm myself before she came to sit and talk with us. It was only then that we learnt that Dr. Tan had been secretly battling against cancer the past 10 years, and he was actually getting better the past two years. Up till about two weeks ago, after starting the new cancer treatment in Singapore, he seemed to be getting weaker and short of breath. But he fought with everything that he had... In the end, the cancer got the better of him. He passed away at his home and peacefully in his sleep.

I knew Dr. Tan very well from the time he was appointed Principal of KDU Penang in 2001. Mainly because during the start of his tenure, he restructured the Marketing department and pulled me out of the Marketing/Sales team to work under his direct report, specifically handling Branding, PR & Communications for the college. 

I was moved from my comfort zone of working with team members on the ground floor to flying solo and seated in the Principal's office on the first floor. Of course when that change first happened, I was quite offended by it and a "sour puss". And the young ciku that I was, thought that he hated me and my easy-go-lucky, party gal style and wanted to just discourage me so that I would quit on my own terms. I thought perhaps he did not like my crazy work antics and wanted me seated in his office so that he could keep a watchful eye on me.

Whatever the reason was, I was determined to not let this man get his way and being the fighter and strong-willed person that I am, I promised myself that I will not be deterred and will keep working hard cos I know I am good at what I do (and I know it!) and I will keep proving it if I have too.

As weeks and months went by, and I started getting accustomed to my new role and relocation of my new work space, I actually realized he had done that one bold move not because of what I had initially thought. It would be easier for him to "mentor" me and work closely with him, to understand better of his vision and goals in order to align my responsibilities to what he required. He also wanted to help me build up my self-confidence even more and allowed me the ability to specialized in the area that he saw was a perfect fit for me - away from Marketing (which in KDU terms is more of sales/recruitment). Smart man! I did not see that at all in the beginning, but I am thankful for that change he made.

Of course his glaring and serious outlook would make just about anyone who did not know him scared shitless *pardon my French* to approach him in person, or when one gets called by him into his office. It's like the feeling of "auw man, what did I do now?!" Seriously, it literally felt like being called into the principals' office and get ready to be scolded for whatever it is you did or did not do.

But as I worked closely with him, I discovered that there was nothing scary about him at all. Deep down, once you get to know him, he was such a kind, sweet, gentle and generous man. An academic who goes by the book for sure, but a damn brilliant one and I am very honored and privileged that I was given the opportunity to know the great man that he was during the four years under his direct report. 

He was simply AWESOME and such a great joker, and he was my bapak, my mentor! 

Even after I left KDU Penang, and after he too moved on to other opportunities, we still kept in contact over the phone and email, and met on several occasions for lunch etc.

He missed Kevin and my wedding celebration in 2009 as we were unable to get in touch with him for a period of time then, but he was always there for all other occasions.

He came to visit us at our home with his wife for Raya Open House and our first born's aqiqah ceremony on August 17, 2013, together with Dr Koo Wee Kor (another brilliant man and former boss) and his wife. Little did we realize then that occasion would be the last time we would see him, and the last photos we would have taken with him. He looked amazingly healthy and younger then too.

  

Thank you, Dr. Tan for making the time to visit us that day (and many other occasions) and for all your guidance and friendship over the years. Thank you for entering our lives and making such positive impact on all of us. You will always be in our thoughts and prayers. You will be remembered and missed dearly. May you rest in peace and god bless your soul.

Deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences to his wife, Dr. Mary and family during this sad time.